A Letter to “Her.”

Hey.

I know you doubt yourself.

I know this breakup may hurt.

I know your divorce is scary.

I know girls are mean.

I know you hate mirrors.

I know.

But here is something you may not know.

You are resilient. You are more than an Instagram like, and certainly more than someone’s uneducated opinion about you. Your life is bigger than heartbreak, and money cannot create a genuine smile.

You may be feeling surrounded, possibly even defeated. Whatever it is that has stolen the sunshine in your soul, I am sure it is valid. It always irritates me when people invalidate pain, so I assure you I won’t do that to you. But, here is what I will say.

The pain will subside.

And when it does….

You will smile in a way that you never have. You will dance in the mornings because your soul just needs to. You will stick your hand out the window and feel every ounce of the lyrics you are singing. You will laugh so hard it hurts. You will hug someone genuinely. You will notice the stars are far more beautiful than you ever cared to realize. You will enjoy placing the fresh flowers at your bedside. You will choose to love others, and fall in love with doing so. You will realize that life is short, and that time is finite. You will realize that you are far too precious to live small.

And before you realize it, you have fallen in love.

No, there is no prince charming. But there is the distinct moment when you discover that you have fallen in love with yourself. Those moments in the sun, those genuine smiles, those silly giggles finally caught up to you. Sweet girl, you are in love with the beauty that is you.

One of the most gratifying moments in your life will be when you choose to let the angst, the anxiety, and the fear be replaced with authentic joy. Friend, you are a beautiful bundle of all you could ever need. Embrace that. Highlight that. Pursue that.

I am so proud of you.

Shine bright.

-A

The Beauty of Pain.

Pain is the great equalizer. Pain is the one language that is universally understood. Pain has a way of ringing too similar yet so different for each heart it crashes into. Pain is pain. It is real, authentic, and it can crawl into the smallest parts of your soul. The sting of rejection, heaviness of heartbreak, and the shattering of grief are just small branches of a very large tree that we know as pain. But the worst part..is that pain is inevitable.

So here we are. A bunch of vulnerable souls wandering around earth for an unknown amount of time, guaranteed to face pain. It’s a bit daunting, and it is definitely draining. What is the point? What is the point of loving, if it could turn to hating? What is the point of trying, if it could simply turn to loosing? What is the point of enjoying, if it turns into missing. What is the point of romanticizing your life, if at any moment, a tidal wave of pain could strip you of your joy?

I have a theory about pain.

I believe pain is beautiful. I believe pain is a second chance. I believe pain is the very embodiment of growth. When we are presented with pain, we are simultaneously given an opportunity. You see, when we experience pain, a part of our soul shatters, which leaves a hole. And while we can never fill that hole the way it once was, we can still fill it. We can fill it with a spring morning. Laughing with your best friend. A slow Sunday morning. That hole can be filled.

When a piece of us shatters, we have a chance to grow stronger, and become braver. Experiencing pain is ordinary, but embracing pain is true strength. Healing and happiness do not have to contradict each other. Rather, they feed off of one another.

I have not spent a significant amount of time on this earth, but I have experienced a significant amount of pain. Through those moments on the floor crumbling, standing in the shower numb, and perfecting the art of a forced smile, I have learned one great lesson:

Ultimately, you must choose to viciously pursue your own happiness.

You must choose to acknowledge the colors of a sunset. You must choose to love the small moments of your day. You must choose to find those instantaneous moments of joy. Trust me, they are there. They stroll past you more than you know. But, you must chase them, and embrace them.

Life is scary, but love is powerful. Perhaps it is naïve, maybe even foolish. But even so, I choose to spend my time on this earth embracing my pain instead of suffocating in it. Friend, I hope you find the moments of joy in your life.

-A

Community is key.

Human beings are social creatures at our core. We were never intended to bottle up our emotions and trudge through this life alone. Ironically, that is exactly what we tend to do. So often we put on a fake smile and put on a mask each day and portrait a false reality we live in. However, if you haven’t already figured this out, let me tell you, it is exhausting.

There is no shame in confiding and finding comfort in those closest to you. Whether it be friends or family, they are invested in you as a person… the good and the bad. Now, obviously their are limitations, and you don’t want to be a negative nelly 24/7. But, if you need advice, comfort, or just some one-on-one time, do yourself the service of asking for it.

With this being said, lets make sure we are drinking water from the right pond. Evaluate your inner circle, are they pouring into you well? Are they intentional? Do you find yourself growing around them, or shrinking? Friendships can be one of this lifetimes biggest blessings, but that is only if you have developed the right ones. I think it has become the social normalcy to befriend people based off their social media aesthetic, and less based off of who they are and how they make us feel. Friend, please don’t fall into this trap.

Surrounding yourself with uplifting, joyful, and supportive people will have such a wonderful impact on your life. I really encourage you to be bold, and build those connections. Be intentional, and make this a priority in your life. You will be happier for it.

You got this.

-A